The Chapter is very pleased to announce that honorees at the banquet will be Admiral Herb Bridge, Diane Narasaki and Alan Sugiyama.  Admiral Bridge is co-owner of Ben Bridge Jewelry, a civic leader and philanthropist who has been a generous supporter of the Seattle JACL for decades.  Diane Narasaki, Executive Director of the Asian Counseling and Referral Service, provides strong leadership for the Asian Pacific Islander Coalition (APIC), an advocacy group that organizes the statewide Asian Pacific American Legislative Day in Olympia each year.  Alan Sugiyama is a former Seattle School Board member and former director of the Center for Career Alternatives. 

The prices for tickets are $60.00 before January 21, 2012 and $75.00 after January 21, 2012.  Online reservations and credit card payments can be made at www.jaclseattle.org.

February is Dating Violence Awareness month.  It is clear that dating violence continues to impact the lives of many young people in our community, however society often sends confusing and unclear messages about what dating violence is, making it difficult for communities to offer support to young people who are survivors.

What is dating violence?

Dating violence is defined as the use of physical, emotional and/or sexual violence to gain power, and maintain control in a casual or serious dating relationship.

Studies on dating violence are still up and coming, so we often see a domestic violence framework being used with younger people who are experiencing dating violence.  Generally, we see an understanding of domestic violence limited to physical assault (punching, hair pulling, assault, rape).  This is largely due to the ways the media sensationalizes domestic violence as strictly physical violence.  For example, most of the movies on the popular television network Lifetime, portrays domestic violence with extreme physical violence.  Additionally, when survivors of domestic violence are featured on the news or talk shows, they often choose stories where a survivor has survived attempted murder and was subjected to extreme physical violence.  Murder and physical assault are very serious and real problems in the fight of violence against women and should be taken seriously, however it is usually the only type of violence that is recognized as domestic violence in the media and society.

Emotional abuse actually occurs frequently among young people and can have a very damaging effect on the well being of the survivor.  Emotional abuse can include: name-calling, public humiliation, frequent put-downs, repeated interrogations, your partner treating you as if you are stupid or crazy, and your partner accusing you of flirting or having sex with others.

Abuse in a dating violence relationship is hardly ever constant, but occurs in a cycle.  In the beginning stages of a relationship, everything can seem perfect.  This is often known as the honeymoon stage and can last a couple months or even a couple years.  Then tension begins to build.  The abuser may make you feel like you are always walking on egg shells constantly trying to control you or blame you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship.  The next stage is the abuse where the explosion of the first stage occurs.  The abuser becomes physically and/or emotionally abusive.  The third stage is the make up stage, where the abuser apologizes and promises to never hurt you again, they may buy you gifts or flowers.  Things at this point may feel as they did in the beginning of the relationship, but then the tension building will begin again, restarting the cycle of abuse.

It is often because of this cycle, that it is difficult for the survivor to leave an abusive relationship.  When you love someone, it can be easy to believe that the person you love will change for the better.

Here are some tips on how to help a friend who is being abused in a dating relationship.

• Let them know that it is not their fault & they don’t deserve it.
• Give them resources where they can go for help & offer to go with them (resource list is at the end of the article)
•    Believe them and support their decisions
• Ensure Confidentiality
• Create a safety plan

If you’d like to help address dating violence in your community, please give Chaya/Asian Pacific Islander Safety Center a call.  (206) 467-9976.  We are always looking for volunteers! Here are some resources if you or someone you know is experiencing dating violence: Chaya/Asian & Pacific Islander Safety Center: (206) 467-9976. The Northwest Network of Bisexual, Trans, and Lesbian Survivors of Abuse: (206) 568-7777. Youth Eastside Services: (425) 747-4937. National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline 866-331-9474.

The Seattle Times and Associated Press covered the amazing survival story of Yong Chun Kim, 66, of Tacoma, a snowshoer who was lost in a blizzard for two days on Mount Rainier. Kim said he stayed alive by digging out a snow tunnel and burning dollar bills for warmth.

Kim, who served in the South Korean military in the Vietnam War, told KOMO-TV in Seattle that skills he learned as a soldier helped him survive. He said he wasn’t scared. He kept waiting for the sounds of the helicopter — though severe weather conditions prevented park officials from using one to search for Kim. With temperatures in the teens and winds whipping on the mountain, Kim said he kept walking and moving to stay warm. He took cover in several tree wells — depressions in snow that forms around a tree — and slept standing for 5 to 10 minutes at a time.

Kim, a U.S. citizen for 30 years, was leading 16 members of a hiking and climbing club from Tacoma on Jan. 14 — a trip he takes nearly every week — when he slid down a slope and became separated. He radioed his group twice to tell them he was OK and would meet them farther down the trail, but became disoriented and went the wrong way. Dozens of park rangers, rescue dogs, volunteers and searchers from several rescue organizations scoured snowy mountain terrain for three days searching for Kim. Kim was about a mile from where he was last seen when he was found Jan. 16 by a ranger and two Crystal Mount Ski Patrol members. Kim said his experience won’t stop him from heading to Mount Rainier again.

“Oh yeah, of course, every Saturday.” But he added: “If it’s a bad day, don’t hike again.”

Sen. Paull Shin ‘Undecided’ In Same-Sex Marriage Bill

Sen. Paull Shin (D-21) of Edmonds is listed as one of six “undecided” members of Congress regarding Washington State’s same-sex legislation. If the legislation passes, Washington will be the seventh state to legalize same-sex marriages in the country. As of Jan. 24, there were 23 reliable “yes” votes in the Senate and 20 “no’s.” The bill requires 25 votes to pass. Six senators, including Sen. Paull Shin, will have to make a decision. An intern for Sen. Shin told The Stranger the senator has not made any public statement on whether he is for or against it, saying, “He’s weighing in with the constituents.” Shin’s Mormom faith is rumored to play a role in his indecison.

Former K-Pop Star and Seattle Native is Back in the Spotlight

In their January 2012 issue, KoreAm magazine covered the case of Seattle native Jay Park, who managed to climb to the top of the Korean pop scene as the charismatic leader of 2PM. KoreAm: “But when the young performer made some ‘anti-Korean’ comments on his MySpace page and later allegedly confessed to some ‘severe mistake,’ according to his record label, he found himself excised from the band and Korea. The singer was prepared to return to a life of obscurity, dancing with his old crew and taking a job at a tire shop in his hometown, but then a certain YouTube video launched him back into the spotlight — his loyal fans in tow. Now, Jay is back, making music and movies and this time, he’s calling the shots.”

David Kang to Head Up Rolling Stone, Us Weekly Online

David Kang will be leaving his post at Hearst to take charge of online publishing for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly and Men’s Journal, reported Goldsea news. As Wenner Media’s chief digital officer, Kang will have full P&L responsibility for sites that command 13.2 million unique monthly visitors. Kang said he will “focus on a brand-centric model based on user preferences, data and a seamless multiplatform experience with multiple revenue streams.” That will involve building strategic partnerships with companies like Spotify and deepening relationships with advertisers through multiplatform integrated deals and branded entertainment campaigns. He started work at Wenner on Jan. 20, less than 10 months after he joined Hearst in March of 2011 where he had been developing digital apps, mobile sites, branded YouTube channels and e-books for titles like Good Housekeeping and Cosmopolitan. Since August of 2007 Kang was SVP and general manager of online subscription services at Rodale which publishes health magazines like Men’s Health, Prevention, Women’s Health, Runner’s World, Bicycling, Running Times, and Organic Gardening. Before that, Kang was SVP of entertainment for Major League Baseball Advanced Media. David Kang has a bewildering array of academic degrees, including a B.A from Stanford, an MA from Harvard, a PhD from Harvard Business School and a JD from Harvard Law School.

Yahoo! Co-Founder Yang Resigns

Yahoo! Inc co-founder Jerry Yang has quit the Internet company he started in 1995, effective Jan. 17, potentially appeasing shareholders who had blasted the Internet pioneer for impeding efforts to revive the struggling Web company. Yang’s abrupt departure comes two weeks after Yahoo! appointed Scott Thompson its new CEO, and after growing criticism of Yang and his handling of affairs dating back to an aborted sale to Microsoft. Analysts said Yang’s exit might speed discussions surrounding a multi-billion dollar deal to sell much of Yahoo!’s prize assets — its 40 percent slice of China’s Alibaba, as well as its investment in Yahoo! Japan. In a letter to Yahoo’s chairman of the board, Yang said he was leaving Yahoo to pursue “other interests outside of Yahoo” and was “enthusiastic” about Thompson as the choice to helm the company. Respected in the industry as one of the founding figures of the Web, Yang has come under fire from investors over the years. In 2008 when Yang was CEO, Yahoo! rejected an unsolicited takeover bid from Microsoft Corp worth about $44 billion. Its share price was subsequently pummeled by the global financial crisis and its current market value stands at about $20 billion.

Pinkberry Co-Founder Beat Homeless Man With Tire Iron

One of the founders of the frozen yogurt franchise, Pinkberry, was arrested Jan. 16, according to the Los Angeles Tribune. Police accuse Young Lee of chasing down a homeless man and beating him with a tire iron in June 2011 on an off-ramp of the Hollywood Freeway. Apparently, Young Lee was stopped at a light when he was approached by a transient seeking money, police said. Words were exchanged, and Lee and another man in the car chased the homeless man and “beat him down,” police Capt. Paul Vernon said. Detectives spent several months probing the case against Lee, who was in South Korea for part of that time. Lee, 47, was taken into custody at Los Angeles International Airport. Bail was set at $60,000 but the records do not indicate whether Lee was released. A former kick-boxer and later an architect, Lee co-founded Pinkberry with Shelly Hwang in 2005. At one point, Pinkberry was drawing 3,000 customers a day and became known as the yogurt shop that spawned 1,000 parking tickets. The business now has more than 100 locations in the United States, Mexico and the Middle East, according to the company website.

Seven Teens Charged in Vicious Beating Caught on Video

In Chicago, seven teens have been charged in the Jan. 15 brutal alley attack of a 17-year-old high school student that was caught on video and went viral on YouTube. Soon after the video hit the web, the identities of the alleged attackers were released. The father of one of teens charged in the beating said the attack was a ‘retaliation’ from a previous altercation.  Seventeen-year-old Raymond Palomino, the attacker whose face can be clearly seen in the video, is being charged as an adult, and faces felony charges of robbery and aggravated battery. The rest of the attackers, ages 15 to 16, including the 15-year-old girl who apparently made the recording, have all been cited on the same charges. The beating and robbery occurred at about 4 p.m. in an alley behind an elementary school just south of the city’s downtown. Police said they don’t believe the attack was racially motivated, although the video clearly shows the victim being punched in the face and kicked repeatedly by a group of attackers while being taunted with racial slurs over the course of more than three minutes. His attackers also robbed the victim of $180 in cash, in addition to his sneakers. The beating victim ran away and was taken to Mercy Hospital and Medical Center.

Reuniting the Koreas in a Restaurant

The New York Times covered Pyongyang — not the capital city of North Korea, — but the rapidly expanding chain of restaurants owned by the North Korean government, with outlets in Bangkok, Jakarta, Pattaya, Phnom Penh, Siem Reap and Vientiane.

Apparently, the Pyongyang restaurant serves as a place of cross-border kinship between Northerners and Southerners, who enjoy performances by North Korean dancers. According to the Times, an expert calls the restaurants, which have opened over the past decade, a “North Korean capitalist experiment,” where wine goes for $30 a bottle and meals can run $100 a person. A critic said the restaurant franchise is an attempt by the government to generate hard currency, a supplement to the country’s sales of missiles and nuclear technology. There is no doubt it is desperately needed, to cope with food and fuel shortages and a socialist economy in a state of collapse. In the real Pyongyang — the capital city -– the death of the longtime leader, Kim Jong-il, and the succession of his son, Kim Jong-un, have raised fears of instability, creating a hard-line Communist atmosphere.

In the restaurant, the performers, who double as waitresses, said they work for three-year stints, request photographs of the restaurant deleted from cameras and shy from discussing politics. There are no propaganda posters in the franchises, no slogans and no portraits of Kim Jung-un, his father or his grandfather, Kim Il-sung. Mr. Jung, a South Korean tour guide, told the New York Times the restaurant was a kind of neutral ground for North and South Koreans to meet. “Politics disappear,” Mr. Jung said. “We are one family.”

Hong Kong Braces for Flood of Dragon Babies

Mainland women scheming and scrambling to deliver “dragon babies” are expected to create a logjam in Hong Kong hospitals and clinics, reported the Goldsea news website. About half of all babies delivered in Hong Kong this year will be to mainlanders eager to bring good fortune into their families while avoiding China’s one-child policy. The Year of the Dragon began on Jan. 23. According to Chinese superstitions babies born during a dragon year — which comes around every 12 years according to the Chinese zodiac — will be imbued with the talents and the good fortune of a great emperor. Consequently, many couples have deliberately sought to time births by putting off conception in the preceding year of the rabbit. Due to concerns that the quest for dragon babies by hordes of mainland woman would crowd out local women, Hong Kong placed a cap on the number of non-resident women who will be allowed to give birth in the Special Administrative Region. Hong Kong hospitals are essentially at the mercy of determined mainland women who manage to cross the border, legally and illegally, and make their way to a facility in a condition that requires preparation for delivery. Local papers have already reported cases of mainland women in the final stages of pregnancy who have illegally crossed the border and headed straight to emergency rooms of public hospitals who can’t turn them away. Expectant local mothers have taken to streets to protest the expected crowding. Up to 1,000 have already staged protests.

Or you may be the eldest daughter in a traditional family that has placed familial burdens on you. Whatever the case may be, the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center has issued a report outlining marriage age for Asian American women, and it found that it is generally much later than the national average.

According to the report: “In traditional Asian homes, the oldest daughter often faces additional responsibilities and social roles, such as helping raise younger siblings, getting an education and a job to help support the family, and taking care of her elderly parents.”

Asian Americans are reported as having the second highest rate among racial groups of never marrying. The report said that there does not seem to be a clear connection between higher education and not marrying.

This is surprising news for many, including commentator Reflective SAM, of the popular blog, singleasianmale.com.

“[Asian parents] are afraid you’re going to hit your expiration date, and that nobody will love you like a box of curdled milk,” he writes.  “They start trying to set you up with their friend’s friend’s daughters, like the girl that works at the teriyaki shop who looks like Margaret Cho.”

Bahira Sherif Trask and Julie Koivunen did a study on trends in marriage and cohabitation at the University of Delaware. They determined that Asian Americans have the lowest rate of cohabitation, at about 5 percent. In comparison, Caucasian Americans are at about 8.2 percent, a difference they claim is a result of cultural differences.

According to the Pew Research Center, a record 14.6 percent of all new marriages are interracial or interethnic. Among all newlyweds in 2008, 31 percent of Asians married someone whose race or ethnicity differed from their own — the most for any minority group. What’s interesting is this rate has not increased like it has for many other racial groups; rather, it has stayed almost the same since 1980, even experiencing a slight dip.

But not every Asian American is equally disposed to be in an interracial/interethnic marriage. The Asian Nation site reported that Japanese and Korean Americans are far more likely to marry across ethnic lines while Asian Indians were least likely. Filipino, Japanese, and Korean Americans are most likely to marry other races.

“It’s not quite like it was before, when there were only two Asian kids in your school — you and this other boy/girl — and everyone thought you two should go together to the prom. Forced coupling,” said blogger Angry Asian Man.

Ohio State University sociologist Zhenchao Qian did a study studying interracial marriages in 1990 to 2000. He discovered that number marrying outside their race fell from 42 to 33 percent during the decade.

“The immigrant population fundamentally changes the pool of potential partners for Asians and Hispanics. It expands the number and reinforces the culture, which means the second generation . . . is more likely to marry people of their own ethnicity,” said Daniel T. Lichter, a sociologist at Cornell University in a Washington Post article.

Another trend found in the study conducted by the Pew Research Center found that 40 percent of Asian female newlyweds had married outside their race in 2008, as opposed to just 20 percent of Asian males. Bloger, Controversial SAM, believes it may be because Asian men want someone with a similar cultural and linguistic background, especially when it comes time to raising children.

“Sure, we’d like to sleep with anyone while we’re single,” said Controversial SAM, “but for marriage purposes, we want Asian. The mother of our children and the woman that we will come to respect, honor, and love, she’s got to be Asian.”

“Sex just isn’t talked about. It’s shameful. And then there’s all this pressure to have children, and lots of children,” said Katherine, a 39 year-old Chinese American.

This stereotypical policy, “abstinence until it’s time to get married and have lots of children policy” can send a potentially sexually active young adult into a tailspin.

New studies have shown that due to unique stigmas and a lack of communication on sexual health and sexual education in the home, Asian Pacific Islander Americans have lower rates of condom use, lower rates of HIV testing and, in some groups, high teenage pregnancy rates.

While many American adolescents have to suffer through the “sex talk” with their parents, most Asian American families avoid the subject entirely, and API youths have to rely on the public school system, friends, books or movies for their sexual education. Discussing sex is an extremely personal topic, and infused with taboo and assumptions. Many parents fear that even bringing up the topic of sex will actually encourage their children to become sexually active, even though a study by the University of Washington found that students who received comprehensive sex education are half as likely to become teen parents as those who get none or abstinence-only sex education.

According to the National Asian Women’s Healthy Organization, more than half of Asian American women are uncomfortable talking about sexual and reproductive health with their mothers, and even more so with the male figures in the family.

“In my household, sex was hardly ever brought up,” said Justin, a 31-year-old Filipino American. “It was assumed that I came out of the ether, basically and that’s how it was.” But at the same time, living in America and being surrounded by American media, Justin was surrounded by sexual images and stories. His mom’s solution? “Cover your eyes until I say when!”

All of this silence and trusting that other people will do the important job of educating young people about sexual health and the risks involved with sexual activity, has resulted in some surprising figures. The model minority myth has furthered the assumption that most API youths are not sexually active — they’re too busy studying and trying to get into a good college. That’s true to some extent. Compared to the national average, female API high school students are less likely to have had intercourse, and they lose their virginity at a later age, according to a study in the Journal of Adolescent Health. But, API youth were significantly less likely to use condoms at first intercourse than all other ethnic groups, according to a 2006 study by the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health (known as Add Health).

While Asian Americans may have lower rates of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases than other racial and ethnic groups, HIV infection is growing at the fastest rate among Asian Americans — 14.3 percent for women and 8.1 percent for men between 2001 and 2004, according to the Center for Disease Control.

Advocates for Youth, a national nonprofit that helps young people make informed and responsible decisions about their sexual health, cites some cultural assets that APIs have that could set the right course for healthy, knowledgeable API youth, but those assets have to be utilized. A high level of parental involvement in their children’s lives in Asian families is a significant factor in helping youths to make the decision to not jump into sexual relationships too early. In a survey, API youth were more likely than any other youth to believe their parents would disapprove of them having sex. Fewer than 10 percent of young API women in the Add Health study who reported a high level of parental involvement reported having had intercourse.

Avoiding the subject with teens, or dropping vague but stern notions of disapproval that “boys are bad” may be as effective as stopping a moving train. But just stopping the train isn’t enough. Eventually, everyone needs to learn how to ride the train, and safely. That’s where Asian parents leave their comfort zone and leave it up to others to educate their children. Studies show that young API women have a high level of confidence about themselves, enough to refrain from sexual activity. An important step is using that self-confidence to apply it to healthy sexual behaviors, such as contraception and reproductive health care.

Thirty-three year old Anna said that situation exactly describes her sexual health experiences. “I felt comfortable enough with my own decisions that I wasn’t ready for sex in high school. But then when I was ready, I definitely could’ve been responsible with my choices in using contraception and practicing good reproductive health,” she said. “The sex ed classes in high school didn’t make much of an impression on me — not as much as a close personal conversation with someone close to me would have.”

Economic and social barriers can have just as much impact, with parents working multiple jobs, or immigrants and refugees lacking insurance and a comprehensive support network.

Older siblings sometimes step in to fill that role of educator. “In 4th grade, my brother and sister broke into my dad’s porn stash, and they forced me to watch this movie with them so I knew,” says Justin. “I resisted and didn’t want anything to do with it, but my siblings were like, ‘this isn’t that big of a deal, so just get over it.’ They were my guides, because my parents were too busy keeping the family going.”

For more information, go to www.advocatesforyouth.org or www.plannedparenthood.org/ppgnw.

She had sought a haven in Melbourne, Australia, after the Fall of Saigon — the last day of the Vietnam War. When the United States left the country, the U.S-supported South Vietnam was taken over by the Communist North, resulting in the beginning of massive emigrations of Vietnamese people.

Although Nguyen lost almost everything when she emigrated in 1975, departing with her family, the clothes she was wearing and some U.S. dollars she had been saving, she did not feel depressed about her loss and instead focused on the future.

Uncertain Futures

For Nguyen, like thousands of other refugees from Vietnam, the struggle to adjust to life in a new land took an emotional toll, with effects not readily accepted in Vietnamese communities fearful of any mental difficulty.

In Nguyen’s case, failing her medical licensing exam in Melbourne triggered her depression; it meant an uncertain future.

Despite her difficulty at that time, Nguyen needed to continue functioning. Having three children to care for while studying for her medical exams, she had little time for herself or anyone else.

Fortunately, Nguyen’s friends recognized her intense depression and supported her by showing they were there for her.

Nguyen overcame her depression and said she has not felt it since 1979. She immigrated to the United States in 1981, earned her medical license and was ready to take advantage of the vast opportunities her new country had to offer.

Many older Vietnamese, who came to the United States after suffering trauma and loss in Vietnam, have focused mostly on their basic material needs and less on their emotional health, according to Suzie Dong-Matsuda, service chief of the Adult Mental Health Outpatient Asian/Pacific Islander (API) Clinics of California’s Orange County Health Care Agency Behavioral Health Services.

There is also a tendency among older Vietnamese immigrants to accept hardship and project an impression of resilience, Dong-Matsuda said. As a consequence many community members bury their grief beneath everyday tasks and struggles.

Vietnamese Depression Rate High

“The rate of depression in the Vietnamese community is very high, all due to the insecurity of displacement and adaptation of a new culture,” Nguyen said.

Nguyen added that she has not experienced hardship in adjusting to life in the United States, only the one period in Australia. But she confided that her husband is depressed, largely because of post-traumatic stress disorder resulting from his being traumatized by the Fall of Saigon.

“He’s depressed, but not at the point he cannot work,” Nguyen said, adding that when he comes home, he is uncontrollably angry and unhappy.

According to the 2010 assessment of Orange County’s health needs, denial and stigma surround mental health issues, such as depression in the Vietnamese culture. For those from Vietnam and other Asian cultures, mental health issues correlate with genetic flaws in a family’s lineage, or some type of curse or punishment for a past transgression.

People with such mental health issues as depression, anxiety disorder or Alzheimer’s disease are treated as though they have no dignity and slapped with the labels, “insane” or “crazy.” They receive little help for their mental or emotional conditions and often treated poorly in the few institutions for Asians that do offer the services they need.

As a consequence of this stigma, mental health problems remain in the close-knit Vietnamese family, hidden from the community and affecting every family member.

Because of tensions concerning mental afflictions, Dong-Matsuda explained, families frequently wait until they can no longer handle the illness at home. Many seek services only when a condition is at an advanced stage, beyond the point when it could have been more easily treated.

Complicating treatment, mental health professionals commonly experience resistance from family members, who are pessimistic about results from any therapeutic intervention.

This article, first published in Vien Dong,  was written by Vanessa White as part of a MetLife Foundation Journalists in Aging Fellowship program created by New America Media and the Gerontological Society of America. It is the first in a series.

Friday, January 13^th was not an “unlucky” day for the Tiger Mother. But Amy Chua admitted, “It’s been a tough year.”

The controversy around Chua’s memoir, “The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” pushed her to The New York Times bestseller status. Chua was at Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park to sign copies of her paperback edition.  More than 100 people came to listen to the infamous mom’s firestorm year.

“I was asked to defend a book I didn’t write. It was difficult to do interviews.”

Last January the Wall Street Journal published an excerpt titled “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior.” It talked about what Chua would never allow her daughters Sophia and Louisa or “Lulu” to do. Here are a few examples:

• attend a sleepovers
• have a play date
• be in a school play
• choose their own extracurricular activities

Chua still can’t shake the WSJ headline that generated 500,000 hits within hours and painted her as a bad mother.

“That was the most painful thing,” said Chua, who felt misunderstood by people who just read the excerpt and never read the book.

She reminded the audience the book was never designed to be a how to parenting guide, but a memoir making fun of herself and the strict-parenting approach of her immigrant parents.

Chua went on to tell the crowd the tongue-and-cheek book is being marketed differently in China with the title being translated as “Parenting by a Yale Professor: How-to Raise Kids in America.” In five-inch stiletto shoes, black skirt, tights and a flower blouse, she said moms in China even come up to her for make-up tips for their daughters.

The audience laughed.

One of those people in the crowd who grasped Chua’s humor is Crystal Bronte, 26, from Seattle. “She gets berated for being a harsh cold parent, but she loves her children very much.”

Bronte is a Japanese American who is getting her masters in teaching at Seattle University. She asked Chua if she’d be okay if her daughters became teachers, a profession Bronte said isn’t as highly respected compared to a doctor or lawyer by Asian parents. Chua answered she would as long as her daughters are passionate about what they do.

Chua herself went into teaching and is a professor of law at Yale Law School. When the backlash surrounding her memoir erupted, Chua thought, “Oh God, I have to quit my job. What happens if they [students] boycott my class and nobody comes?”

But, the opposite happened. Her students threw her a party, and she earned an award for Best Teacher, which Chua said, “is very difficult to get at Yale.”

Don’t expect the three-time published author to write a sequel of her memoir anytime soon. Her next project is an academic book.

Would the Tiger Mother do anything over? “Sometimes I wonder if I should not have included some of those lines that got me in so much trouble. But then it would not have been an honest book.” She goes on to say, “What really matters is what my girls think of me.”

According to Chua, the memoir has brought them closer. Her older daughter, Sophia, wrote an article for the New York Post defending her mother. She is now a student at Harvard. As for Lulu, she plays tennis in high school, an extra-curricular activity that Chua didn’t warm up to at first. (Remember Chua’s rules?)

The overbearing mom loosened up when Lulu rebelled. This forced Chua to take a hard look at balancing Asian and Western childrearing ways. Chua said, “”Battle Hymn” is me almost losing my daughter [Lulu].” That’s Chua’s inspiration behind the memoir’s title, in addition to the patriotic hymn “Battle Hymn of the Republic” by Julia Ward Howe.

So, where did “Tiger Mother” come from?  “I was born of the year of the Tiger, and the book is filled with funny Chinese zodiac jokes.”

Whether you understand Chua’s memoir or not, she created an international discussion regarding parenting styles. “Parenthood is too complex to simplify down to what is right for every child and situation,” said John Tran, a Seattle counselor. “If there was a right way … we’d all be well-adjusted adults!”

Fireplace in the sitting area.

Oil paintings and family portraits that hang on the wall.

Throw rugs throughout the hallways and rooms.

Complimentary coffee or champagne.

Does this sound like the setting of a doctor’s clinic? Well, it is.

“We wanted something comfortable that made them [the patients] feel like this clinic was the extension of their home,” said Dr. Connie Mariano, the founder and owner of Concierge for Executive Medicine in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Wearing a gray sweater dress with black boots, you won’t find this doctor wearing a lab coat. Instead, she looks like your friend. “Part of it is making people feel special. I think that’s what’s missing in medicine now.”

The first military woman to head the White House Medical Unit and first Filipino woman to become Navy rear admiral came up with the concept after following President Bill Clinton and thinking, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a practice in which you treated every patient as though they were the president of the United States in terms of the contact that we have with our patient where they can reach us at anytime?”

That means her more than 300 patients from all over the world have access to her 24 hours a day, seven days a week — by email, over the phone or through text. Most of her patients are retired CEOs and their families. Thanks to modern technology, they are able to have virtual office visits. “I had one patient who had a rash [and emailed me a picture] and said, “This is bothering me. What do you think it is?””

With the help of a second opinion from a dermatologist, Dr. Mariano could tell the patient had eczema. She called in a prescription to a pharmacy for a cream to treat the eczema, saving the patient time and money from having to go to an office visit. 

The only doctor on staff understands that time is valuable to her patients. She’s on her iPhone all the time. And, when it comes to office visits, there’s no waiting in the sitting area. “The appointment begins when the patient arrives.”

Her team (which consists of an office manager, an executive assistance and a receptionist) knows them by their first name.  “We are all waiting for them.  We’ve prepared their paperwork. I have their results waiting.”

This type of healthcare with a focus on customer service doesn’t come cheap. There’s a $10,000 fee per year, per new patient, and additional fees depending on the office appointment. And, she does home visits too, but it will cost you. Her patients don’t mind writing that check.

“So one thing about my patients, [they say] I have a doctor who took care of three presidents of the United States and that’s important for them. It’s a private club.”

Her office doesn’t bill insurance, similar to other medical concierge clinics like hers. Their fees though, Dr. Mariano said, range anywhere between $3,000 to $50,000 a year, per patient. If you think these fees are high, Dr. Mariano said it’s not for everybody.

“My patients pay their bills. They are responsible and feel empowered to make sure they stay healthy and stay away from unhealthy habits because they’re paying the bills.”

Here’s the reality, Dr. Mariano said there’s no doubt there’s a problem with healthcare in this country. She’s seeing fewer people wanting to become doctors because it’s just too costly.

According to her, Medicare pays the doctors $20.00 for a routine visit.

With overhead costs, that means a doctor needs to see 40 to 50 patients a day. “The business model doesn’t work if you take straight insurance. You have to hire other people, [which doesn’t help minimize overhead costs]. I know good doctors who go out of business because they can’t afford to just take insurance.”

In the end, the published author of “The White House Doctor” said, she enjoys taking care of patients, but she doesn’t like to be told how to do it. Having her boutique medical practice, “It gives me a way to do it, using the market with a special group of patients who want that type of care.”

This latest in racist presidential campaign ads is from someone claiming to be a Ron Paul supporter, attacking Republican presidential candidate Jon Huntsman for his “un-American” values. The video claims among Huntsman’s un-American values are: his ability to speak Mandarin and having adopted children from China and India. China is once again linked to evil doers. An ‘Oriental’ track is made to sound sinister. As a former U.S. Ambassador to China, his multi-cultural skills and appreciation may be explained. The Ron Paul campaign disavowed and condemned the video.

US Presidential GOP Hopeful Romney Takes Heat on China Criticisms

Republican US presidential frontrunner Mitt Romney took heat recently over his fierce criticisms of China from a Chinese-American woman who bluntly told him, “it just doesn’t make me feel good.” The woman, sitting near the stage at a political rally held by the former Massachusetts governor and veteran Republican Senator John McCain, repeatedly said she loved the United States and asked Mr. Romney not to put Asians down. “I heard all this degrading thing about China this and China that, it just doesn’t make me feel good,” she scolded the candidate.

“I hope I haven’t put any Asians down,” said Romney, who in his campaign speech routinely accuses Beijing of cheating on global trade rules and vows to ‘clamp down’ on China, said somewhat stiffly.

Private Chen’s Family Learns More About Hazing by Fellow G.I.’s

The officers in command of the battalion of Pvt. Danny Chen, who the Army says committed suicide in Afghanistan in October after being hazed by fellow soldiers, were aware of the harsh treatment he had repeatedly received, his family told the New York Times. At a news conference, family members and their supporters said Pvt. Chen had been mistreated virtually every day of his six-week stint in Afghanistan. They said he had been called a “gook,” a “chink” and “dragon lady.” He was also forced to wear a green helmet and shout orders in Chinese, to a battalion that had no other Chinese-American soldiers, they said. Previously, the family “had no idea of the extent or how long this mistreatment had been going on,” said Elizabeth R. OuYang, president of the New York chapter of OCA, a civil rights group. The family learned of the new details — which they said were in the fullest account yet of what happened to their son — in a three-hour briefing with Army officials, including Lt. Gen. Thomas P. Bostick and Col. Thomas P. Weikert, at Ft. Hamilton in Brooklyn.

In an indication of the prominence of Pvt. Chen’s case, several officials, including City Comptroller John C. Liu and City Councilwoman Margaret S. Chin, attended the news conference. The case has generated considerable interest in New York’s Asian neighborhoods because Pvt. Chen was a Chinatown native and because of some Asian-Americans’ ambivalence toward the United States military. Pvt. Chen, 19, was found dead in a guard tower, of what a military statement called “an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound” to the head. The Army has charged eight members of Pvt. Chen’s battalion, including one officer, in connection with the death. The most serious charges are manslaughter and negligent homicide.

In a statement, George B. Wright, an Army spokesman, said, “The Army is a values-based organization. We inculcate our soldiers with the need to treat all with dignity and respect. We enforce standards, and when our soldiers fail to meet those standards, we take appropriate action.”

First Asian NBA Player Passes on Advice to Lin

Sixty-four years ago, the New York Knicks made Wat Misaka, 88, not only their franchise’s first draft pick, but the first Asian American in the NBA. He’ll share his team decades later with new Knicks recruit, Jeremy Lin. Lin, who played Harvard basketball, was recruited by his hometown Golden State Warriors, then brought on to the Houston Rockets. On Christmas, the Rockets let Lin go, who then joined the Knicks. “I wish him luck,” Misaka told ESPN from his home in Salt Lake City, Utah. Misaka continues to work as an electrical engineer. “I don’t know exactly what kind of player he is, except for what I’ve read about him. I sure hope that he can stick. New York could be a great place for him, although Oakland would’ve been great too with all of the Chinese people that are in California. I think it was one of the reasons why they drafted him. He should have a big following [in New York] if he gets a chance to play.” According to ESPN, in a surprise move, the Knicks went with a young, untested player whose career average is 2.6 points in 29 games. Misaka said he had a hunch the Knicks also signed him in part, because of his ethnic background, a strong tie-in with New York City’s large Asian population. “It makes a difference,” he said. “That’s certainly one of the reasons why people draft players. It’s not strictly about their talents, but their ability to draw fans.”

Papa John’s Worker Nicknames Customer “Lady Chinky Eyes”

Minhee Cho, a recent customer at a New York City Papa John’s Pizza, was given this receipt for her transaction. The employee took the liberty of renaming the customer “lady chinky eyes.” Cho posted the photo to her Twitter page, where it was quickly retweeted by hundreds of people. By the next day, the photo had been viewed at least 25,000 times.

The Papa John’s store owner initially blamed the teenage employee’s behavior on “modern culture,” and said he planned to have “sensitivity trainings” to avoid situations like this in the future. Ultimately, the employee was terminated and Papa John’s apologized for the racial slur. The apology, posted on Papa John’s company Facebook page read: “We were extremely concerned to learn of the receipt issue in New York. This act goes against our company values, and we’ve confirmed with the franchisee that this matter was addressed immediately and that the employee is being terminated. We are truly sorry for this customer’s experience.”

Tai chi, a slow-paced, non-competitive Chinese discipline, can be a very effective way to counteract these effects, while also improving balance, bone and muscle strength, lower blood pressure and boost the immune system (physical benefits normally attributed exclusively to more vigorous workouts). Because the workout is so gentle, just about anyone can participate, including seniors who often have difficulty participating in vigorous activities. Low-impact workouts like tai chi exercises can enable individuals to gain the same physical benefits as more intensive workouts like running or biking, without the heavy demands on the body.

Boeing engineer Huy Chung often found himself sitting in front of a computer screen for hours on end, but when he started learning tai chi, this started to change.

“I find I am taking breaks during work to practice [tai chi]. Whereas, before I would be sitting in front of the computer for eight hours,” said Chung. “I feel like I’m mentally stronger.”

He added that he now finds himself more relaxed, and is more patient, forgiving of himself and more understanding of others. This is due to the strenuous mindful nature of tai chi, he noted. Chung has noticed that his body has learned to adapt to stressful energy as a result.

“It is a very difficult style to master and it has been a humbling experience,” he said. “I have become more patient because I realize how long it will take to get good. I am also more forgiving of my shortcomings because I recognize the mistakes I am making will require more practice to overcome.”

No stranger to martial arts, Chung started practicing Tae Kwon Do (a Korean martial art focused with an emphasis on kicking) as a kid and did that for about 13 years. As an adult, he has also taught Tae Kwon Do and Wing Chun (a Chinese martial art utilizing both striking and grappling, while specializing in close-range combat).

Tai chi uses an internal energy where the muscles are more relaxed, Chung noted. He goes to a formal class once a week at International Wudang Internal Martial Arts Academy and practices a few times a week on his own. He practices a traditional technique called “standing qi gong” or “zhan zhuang,” which requires a lot of mental discipline.

“In the past, I would go to the gym and lift weights,” he said. “I did get stronger, but I don’t think there was a spirtitual component to it. Running on the treadmill really calmed me down emotionally, but I don’t think it stimulated me mentally.”

Chung noted that tai chi has made him more in tune with his body.

“I like the soft flowing movements of [tai chi]. I enjoy the challenge of sycnhronizing proper breathing, movement, and mental intent,” he said.

Now, instead of sitting at a computer all day, Chung finds time to practice breathing and relaxing his body through tai chi during his work breaks.

“You can pretty much practice it anywhere,” he said. “It builds up your energy.”

For additional information about International Wudang Internal Martial Arts Academy, visit www.wudangdanpai.com.