The Chapter is very pleased to announce that honorees at the banquet will be Admiral Herb Bridge, Diane Narasaki and Alan Sugiyama.  Admiral Bridge is co-owner of Ben Bridge Jewelry, a civic leader and philanthropist who has been a generous supporter of the Seattle JACL for decades.  Diane Narasaki, Executive Director of the Asian Counseling and Referral Service, provides strong leadership for the Asian Pacific Islander Coalition (APIC), an advocacy group that organizes the statewide Asian Pacific American Legislative Day in Olympia each year.  Alan Sugiyama is a former Seattle School Board member and former director of the Center for Career Alternatives. 

The prices for tickets are $60.00 before January 21, 2012 and $75.00 after January 21, 2012.  Online reservations and credit card payments can be made at www.jaclseattle.org.

IDEA Odyssey Gallery presents “Balik/Ibalik”, an exhibit of new photographs by Carina A. del Rosario. In this new work, the artist documents her recent trip to the Philippines after a 22 year absence and explores the intersections of language, culture, family and place. Opening reception is Thurs., Feb. 2 from 5 – 8pm.  On view through March 31. Del Rosario gives an artist talk on Feb. 11 from 1 – 3pm. 666 S. Jackson.  Open Th., Fri. and Sat. from noon to 5pm or by appointment. (206) 462-1359 or go to www.ideaodysseygallery.com.

Opening Feb. 9 at Seattle Art Museum downtown is “Gauguin Polynesia – An Elusive Paradise.” Through April 29. Paired with the famed Gauguin paintings of the South Pacific are 60 sculptures, jewelry and functional objects from the native cultures of the South Pacific. SAM, 1300 First Ave., Seattle. Visit: www.seattleartmuseum.org.

Batkhurel Bold, the dynamic principal dancer of Pacific Northwest Ballet (originally from Mongolia) stars in the new production of “Don Quixote.”  Ten performances only from Feb. 3 – 12 at McCaw Hall at Seattle Center. Call (206) 441-2424 or go to pnb.org.

Krys Lee was born in Seoul, raised in California and Washington, and studied in the United States and England. She now lives in Seoul. In her debut book of short stories entitled “Drifting House” (Viking), she revisits characters she knows and the pressures of life in both Korea’s and Korean Americans in the U.S.  She reads at the University Book Store in Seattle on Wed., Feb. 8 at 7pm. 4326 University Way NE. Call (206) 634-3400.

If you are interested in the music of taiko, the Japanese traditional drum then try these upcoming concerts. Seattle University, Minidoka Pilgrimage Planning Committee and Friends of Minidoka present “Day of Remembrance 2012 Taiko Fest” set for Sun., Feb. 19 from 1 – 5 p.m.  The concert features over 7 Seattle taiko groups all performing on the same stage. Seattle University’s Pigott Auditorium. Located at 901 – 12^th Ave., Seattle.  Tickets available through Brown Paper Tickets or go to http://www.minidokapilgrimage.org/. Internationally known drumming group, “TAO: The Way of the Drum” perform on Fri., Feb. 3 at 8 p.m. Moore Theatre in downtown Seattle at 1932 – 2^nd, Seattle. Tickets at www.stgpresents.org or call (877) 784-4849.

The UW World Series presents  Shen Wei Dance Arts with performances at UW’s Meany Hall Feb. 2 – 4 at 8 p.m. Each piece incorporates visual and storytelling elements from the theater, Chinese opera, Eastern philosophy, traditional and contemporary visual art and sculpture. There will be a pre-show talk in the main auditorium by Chung Xinwei of the UW Dance Department at 7:10 p.m. Call (206) 543-4880 or go to www.uwworldseries.org for details.

Hawaiian singer/songwriter John Cruz makes a welcome return to Seattle’s Triple Door on Feb. 5 at 7:30 p.m. Growing up in a family with a record collection well-stocked with Motown, Cruz also blends traditional Hawaiian music with Reggae, pop, soul and blues that amounts to a soulful, original island sound. Cruz is also a masterful guitarist with a full sound coming from a solo guitar back-up to his vocals. The Triple Door at 216 Union St. downtown. Go to (206) 838-4333 or www.thetripledoor.net for details.

This year’s 7th Annual Children’s Film Festival   features a number of films from Asia and South Asia in their program. Through Feb. 5. Northwest Film Forum at 1515 – 12th Ave. Call (206) 329-2629 or go to www.nwfilmforum.org.

“Hungry Planet: What the World Eats” is a fascinating photo exhibit that takes 10 families from around the world and looks at what they eat, day in and day out. Opens Jan. 28 and remains on view through June 10. UW’s Burke Museum, 17th Ave. NE and NE 45th in Seattle. Call (206) 544-5590 or go to www.burkemuseum.org.

Opening Jan. 27 at the Uptown Cinemas is “Norwegian Wood” which played at last year’s SIFF. This marks the film’s regular run. Adapted from the best selling novel by Haruki Murakami and directed by acclaimed director Tran Anh Hung (The Scent of Green Papaya), the film tells the story of a young Japanese couple and their friend in a relationship torn asunder by death. In Japanese with English subtitles. 511 Queen Anne Ave. Call (206) 324-9996.

Author Diane Fujino is the author of two books on powerful Asian American community activists. She penned “Heartbeat of Struggle: The Revolutionary Life of Yuri Kochiyama (see mention of the documentary film on Kochiyama above) and her look on Afro-Asian coalition builder Richard Aoki entitled “A Samurai Among Panthers: Richard Aoki on Race, Resistance and a Paradoxical Life” (University of Minnesota Press) comes out in April She makes a surprise visit here on Friday, Feb. 10 at 7 p.m. in what’s sure to be a provocative and timely talk on activists in the community. Fujino is associate professor of Asian American Studies at UC Santa Barbara. Elliott Bay Book Company, 1521 – 10th Ave. Call (206) 624-66000 or go to www.elliottbaybook.com.

“Within/Without” by sculptor June Sekiguchi  looks  at extremes of emotion in the life of the artist. Overjoyed at an invitation from Prince Nithakong Somsanith of Laos, for an artist residency, Sekiguchi was simultaneously shocked with the sudden death of a parent. Out of this comes a site-specific installation in scroll-cut wood and gilded bamboo, a temple of transcendence, sorrow and joy – with responsive sound and light elements by Rob Mills and Spar Wilson. Augmented with new wall-hung sculptures. On view now with a  reception on Feb. 2 from 5 – 8 p.m. and an artist talk set for Feb. 2 at 3 p.m.  ArtXchange Gallery 512 First Ave. S. Call (206) 839-0377 or go to www.artxchange.org . The artist’s residency in Laos was sponsored by 4Culture.

Christian Bale stars in Zhang Yimou’s “Flowers of War” which opens Jan. 20 at a Seattle Landmark Theatre. Bale plays a renegade American posing as a priest who trys to protect Chinese children during the Japanese invasion of Nanjing in 1937. Screenplay by Liu Heng and Yen Geling based on Geling’s novel.

Visual Arts

Takahito Sekiguchi, a visiting ceramic artist from the University of Tokyo and currently resident artist with Tacoma Community College showcases his work at KOBO at Higo Feb. 18 – March 17. Opening reception is Sat., Feb. 18 from 4 – 6 p.m. Kobo at Higo, 604 South Jackson. info@koboseattle.com. Call (206) 381-3000.

ONTOLOGUE is a touring art entity that specializes in exhibitions and publications. At SOIL Gallery, they present “Parliament of Things”, a group show. Kentaro Ikegami will do a performance piece utilizing the gallery reception catering and shintoist traditions. Opens Feb. 2 from 6 – 8 p.m. and remains on view through Feb. 25. 112 – 3^rd Ave. S. Go to soilart.org for details.

Noted Seattle ceramic artist Patti Warashina has work in the group show entitled “Around The Bend And Over The Edge: Seattle Ceramics 1964 – 1977”  from Feb. 11 – May 6 at UW Henry Art Gallery in the North Galleries, 15^th Ave. NE & NE 41^st At. Go to henryart.org or call (206) 543-2280.

Winston Wachter Fine Art presents “New Paintings” by Hiro Yokose. Through Feb. 23.  203 Dexter Ave. N. Call (206) 652-5855 or go to www.winstonwachter.com.

“Journeys” is a group show of local artists influenced by travel. The work of Romson Regarde Bustillo is included. Through Feb. 11. SAM Gallery located at 1220 Third Ave. Call (206) 343-1101. SOIL Gallery at 112 – 3rd Ave. S. in Seattle.

Cambodian-born artist Soheap Pich immigrated to the US with his family to escape the Khmer Rogue and attended art school here, earning an MFA at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. After a few years of meaningless jobs less than conducive to making art, he returned to his home country where he transitioned to sculpture using rattan and bamboo which suggests Cambodia’s basket-weaving tradition. He comes to Seattle’s Henry art Gallery to construct an installation entitled “Compound.” On view till April 1, 2012. Henry Art Gallery on the UW campus located at 15th Ave. NE & NE 41st. Call (206) 543-2280 or visit www.henryart.org for details. On the third floor, explore a new show entitled “The Seattle Art Museum & Seattle Artists in the 1930s and 1940s” which celebrates the work of Northwest artists whose careers were fostered by the director and patrons of the museum. Includes work by Mark Tobey, Morris Graves and Emilio Amero. SAM Next series is Seattle Art Museum’s contemporary art exhibition program intended to shed light on cutting-edge contemporary young artists and the work they are doing. Selected sixth in the series is New York-based multi-media artist Mika Tajima. Tajima combines painting, sculpture, design, performance, video and sound to create immersive installations that expand the possibilities of each medium. On view through June 17, 2012. SAM is located at 1300 First Ave. in Seattle. Call (206) 654-3100 or go to www.seattleartmuseum.org for details.

“North, South, East, West” is a group show curated by June Sekiguchi at University House in the Wallingford neighborhood. It looks at the multicultural fabric of America as exemplified by Seattle artists from Ethiopia, Poland, Vietnam, Iraq etc. Includes work by Carina del Rosario Minh Carrico, Tina Koyama and others. The show will be on display until Feb. 13, 2012. University House, 4400 Stone Way N. at N. 45th, Seattle. Call (206) 545-8400.

“Painting Seattle: Kamekichi Tokita & Kenjiro Nomura” curated by Barbara Johns remains on view till Feb. 19, 2012. In the 1930’s these two artists documented the landscape of the city and the farmland on weekends and ran their day job of sign-painting on the weekdays. You can still find evidence of their daily labor in signs around Japantown and ID/Chinatown from the “Blue Funnel Line” sign on a door near the Wing to the curtain of painted ads of neighborhood businesses once in the Nippon Kan and now in the Wing’s little theatre. But their own painting of cityscapes and landscapes won recognition in the 1930’s as well. Tokita died too young from poor health after getting out of an internment camp but Nomura would live long enough to see his work turn abstract and receive the honor of being the first Seattle artist to get a one-person show at Seattle Art Museum. Tours of the show will begin on weekends at noon starting at the Fuller Garden Court. Coming March 15 and on view till August 5, 2012 will be a show entitled “Colors of the Oasis, Central Asian Ikats” which features 40 colorful robes created during the 19th century using the labor intensive process known as ikat. All at the Seattle Asian Art Museum, 1400 Prospect Ave., Seattle. For more information, call (206) 654-3100 or visit www.seattleartmuseum.org.

 Early February brings   First Thursday Historic Hotel Tour at a discount on Feb. 2 from 10am – 8 p.m. Former Museum director and writer Ron Chew reads from his new book entitled “Remembering Silme Domingo and Gene Viernes: The Legacy of Filipino American labor Activism” on Feb. 2 at 6pm. Other continuing activities include the following – Jan. 21 – March 31 is the Historic Hotel & Chinatown Discovery Tour with a Lunar New Year twist. Call (206) 623-5124×133 for details. On Sat., Feb. 18 from 1 – 3 p.m., learn how to make food paintings with Romson Regarde Bustillo as part of Family Fun Day. On Sat., March 17 from 1 – 3 p.m., Mizu Sugimura teaches a Japanese Art Workshop as part of Family Fun Day. Special exhibition opening reception for “Asian American Arcade” on Feb. 9 from 6 – 8 p.m. Follow video games out of the arcade and into the art gallery where related artworks explore questions of identity, community, imagination, learning and the power of play in our lives. “Meet Me at Higo: An Enduring Story of a Japanese American Family” is a new show of a famous neighborhood general store that just opened. On view until Spring 2012. Accompanied by a catalogue with essay written by Ken Mochizuki. Also new is “From Fields to Family: Asian Pacific Americans and Food” which explores the traditions, techniques and mouth-watering stories of food through culture and cooking techniques passed on through home and restaurant over the years. “Vintage Japantown through the lens of the Takano Studio” is another show which looks at portrait photography from one studio active from the 1930’s to the early 1940’s. Studios like this once thrived in the neighborhood and captured the everyday life of its inhabitants. Through Feb. 12, 2012.   On Sat., Feb. 18 from 1 – 5 p.m., the museum sponsors three film screenings in commemoration of the 70^th anniversary of the signing of Executive Order 9066 that led to the imprisonment of Japanese Americans. Free. “Conscience and the Constitution” by Frank Abe screens at 1 p.m. “With Honors Denied” by Yukiko Kubo Shiogi is at 4 p.m. and “Transcending: The Wat Misaka Story is at 4:20pm. Go to http://wingluke.org/events/upcoming.htm for details. For information on all of the above, go to www.wingluke.org or call (206) 623-5124.

Artists Susie J. Lee, Henry Tsang and Jin-Me Yoon were selected to participate in “The 10th Northwest Biennial” which will be on view through May 2012. Work was selected by TAM curator Rock Hushka and independent art curator Renato Rodrigues da Silva. (253) 272-4258 or go to www.TacomaArtMuseum.org.

The work of Joseph Park is included in a group show entitled “Yesterday’s Tomorrow” on view at Museum of Northwest Art through March 14. The show showcases futuristic work that reflects the Northwest’s rich history of embracing traditions of industry and innovations of technology. 121 South First St. in La Conner. (360) 466-4446 or go to www.museumofnwart.org.

The work of Roger Shimomura is on view through March 10 at Gonzaga University’s Jundt Gallery in Spokane. 502 E. Boone Ave. (509) 323-6611 or go to www.gonzaga.edu/jundt Shimomura’s work is also in a group show at the National Portrait Gallery at the Smithsonian in Washington D.C. entitled “Portraiture Now: Asian American Portraits of Encounter”. Through Oct. 14, 2012. Go to www.npa.sl.edu/exhibit/encounter/visit.html. After the show closes, it will tour including venues in Washington State.

Coverage of early Japanese American history in the region is included in the permanent exhibit at White River Valley Museum, 918 “H” St. S.E. in Auburn. Call (253) 288-7433 or go www.wrvmuseum.org.

The Oregon Nikkei Legacy Center preserves the history and culture of Japanese Americans in the area. Their permanent exhibit is “Oregon Nikkei: Reflections of a Community.” “Forthcoming shows will be “Kokeshi: From Tradition to Tools,” “Coming Home: Japanese Americans in Portland After WWII” and “Roger Shimomura: Shadows of Minidoka.” Oregon Nikkei Legacy Center, 121 NW 2nd Ave. in Portland. Call (503) 224-1458 or e-mail: info@oregonnikkei.org.

The Portland Japanese Garden offers the serenity of a Japanese garden plus numerous classes, art shows and workshops year around. Portland Japanese Garden, 611 S.W. Kingston Ave. Call (503) 233-1321.

The Jordan Schnitzer Museum of Art on the campus of the University of Oregon in Eugene has the following exhibits.  Coming next spring is a show entitled “Visions of the Orient: Western Women artists in Asia, 1900 – 1940.” Jordan Schnitzer Museum of Art, 1430 Johnson Lane, Seattle. Call (541) 346-3027.

“Hiroshima: Photographs by Miyako Ishiuchi” on view through Feb. 12. This noted Japanese photographer chose the objects she photographed from more than 19,000 personal effects left behind by those who perished in the bombings. Museum of Anthropology, 6393 NW Marine Dr., Vancouver, B.C. Call (604) 822-5087 or go to www.moa.ubc.ca.

Performing Arts

STG presents the Nan Hai Art Center’s “Celebrate the Year of Dragon” on Feb. 3 at 7:30pm. At the Paramount at 911 Pine St. (425) 576-8880 or go to www.nanhaishow.com. Tickets at stgpresents.org or call (877) 784-4849.

Improv comedy troupe Pork Filled Players charge into the year of the dragon with a new comedy/music cabaret entitled “Spam 0 Rama” on Wed., Feb. 15 at 7:30pm. Theatre Off Jackson at 409 – 7^th Ave. S. Tickets at brownpapertickets.com/event/221651 or go to www.porkfilled.com.

Miyagi Kai koto performance group will have a New Year’s performance on Sun., Feb. 5 at 1pm. At the Hokubei Houchi Foundation’s The North American Post Nagomi Teahouse Space. Free.  519 – 6th Ave. S. Call (206) 725-4958 or e-mail: info@hokubeihouchi.org.

David Choi performs at VERA Project on Fri., Feb. 10 at 7:30 p.m. Near Warren Ave. N. & Republican at Seattle Center. Tickets at www.etix.com or call (206) 956-VERA.

The University of Washington Simpson Center for the Humanities presents a lecture program on Japan at KOBO at Higo. UW Japanese Art History Associate Professor Cynthea J. Bogel will talk about “Food, Drink and Ritual: Scenes behind Japanese Buddhist Temple Life” on Sat., Feb. 4 at 5 p.m. Kobo at Higo, 604 S Jackson. Call (206) 381-3000.

Saturday University Lecture Saturdays Feb. 18 – April 7 at 9:30 a.m. At Seattle Asian Art Museum’s Stimson Auditorium. Feb. 18 brings UW Prof. Chris Murray who will talk about “Health Trends in Asia over Three Decades of Growth (1980-2010). Feb. 25, UBC Prof. Abidin Kusno and UW Tacoma Associate Prof. Lisa Hoffman will talk about “Greening Cities: Possibilities and Practices in Indonesia and China”. Visit seattleartmuseum.org or call (206) 654-3121.

The Seattle Symphony’s new season comes with a new conductor, Ludovic Morlot and some surprises. Some highlights include the following – Mei Ann Chen guest conducts the symphony in the annual “Celebrate Asia” program with guests Jie Ma on pipa, Hahn-Bin on violin and Cuong Vu on trumpet. Feb. 24 at 7:30 p.m. Jennifer Koh is violin soloist on March 22, 24 & 25 performing Brahms’ Violin Concerto under the baton of Morlot. On April 16 at 7:30 p.m., Myung-Whun Chung and the Seoul Philharmonic Orchestra come into town with Wu Wei on sheng performing a mix of Eastern and Western compositions. For a complete schedule, call (206) 215-4747 or go to www.seattlesymphony.org.

Film/Media

“All’s Well, End’s Well 2012” is a   Chinese romantic comedy starring Donnie Yen and others. Currently at Seattle’s AMC Pacific Place 11. 600 Pine St. (206) 652-8908.

The Written Arts

“Embracing Diversity in the Arts – Random Reflections on the Coming Tide of Change” is an article by Ron Chew that appears in the Fall 2011 issue of GIAreader- ideas and information on Arts and Culture” as published by the national arts organization, Grantmakers in the Arts. Call (206) 624-2312 or try gia@giarts.org.

Seattle poet Paisley Rekdal had her poem selected for the anthology entitled “Best American Poets” for 2011. The poem is from a forthcoming book of poems entitled  “Animal Eye” due out in Feb. 2012.

Examiner contributor Yayoi Winfrey has a self-published book now on Goggle Books   (http://books.goggle.com/books?id-QjhZPQAACAAJ@source=gbs_na/links_s) and an essay in a forthcoming textbook on Asian and Pacific Islander Americans (http://www.abc-clio.com/product.aspxisbn=9781598843545). Also check out her new art website at http://ww.yayoilenawinfrey.com.

Art News/Opportunities

A “Nikkei Writing Workshop” for Seattle area Japanese to record their memories of WW II takes place on Sat., Feb. 11 from 1:30 – 4 p.m. If interested, contact Atsushi Kiuchi at akiuchi@aol.com or call (206) 568-7114. At the Japanese Cultural and Community Center of Washington at 1414 S. Weller St.

Washington Lawyers For the Arts present their “Annual Evening Tax Workshop For Artists And The Attorneys Representing Them” on Wed., Feb. 22 at 7 p.m. At West of Lenin Theater at 203 n. 36^th St. Call (800) 838-3006.

Artists practicing in craft, literary, media and music arts in Washington State are eligible to apply for the 2012 Artist Trust Fellowship. Deadline is Feb. 26, 2012. Go to www.artistrust.org for details.

The Wing issues an invitation to participate in “Beyond Talk 2”, a forthcoming exhibit on race at the Wing Luke Museum. In 2004, the museum had a show entitled “Beyond Talk: Redrawing Race. In 2013, a new exhibit on race opens. The community is invited to share in conversations on issues of race to provoke ideas for the new show. Talks take place in Feb. March, April and May at various neighborhoods throughout Seattle. To participate and get details, contact Exhibits Developer Mikala Woodward at mwoodward@wingluke.org or call (206) 623-5124.

A series of Ikebana classes are offered at Cottage House in  Seattle’s Volunteer Park Conservatory. Jan. 10 – Feb. 7. 1 – 3 p.m./ Feb. 21 – March 13, 10 a.m. – 12 p.m. For registration, go to www.seattle.gov/parks or call (206) 684-5177. For more information, go to www.ikebanahq.org.

Applications are now being accepted for the Neddy at Cornish, an annual artist award program supported by the Behnke Foundation and based at Cornish College of the Arts in memory of Robert E. (“Ned”) Behnke. Cash awards and a group exhibition given to selected Puget Sound artists. To see application, go to www.cornish.edu/neddy. For additional information, contact Jennifer Ward at (206) 315-5801 or e-mail jward@cornish.edu.

Columbia City Gallery is an artist-run collective that represents over 30 local multi-media artists. The space has a Guest Gallery which showcases artists that reflect an ethnically diverse neighborhood. Do you have a great exhibit idea to propose or need more information? Go to  art@columbiacitygallery.com or email Lauren Davis at lauren@columbiacitygallery.com.

Poets & Writers’ Readings/Workshops Program offers small grants for literary events taking place in Seattle and covers writers’ fees for public readings and workshops. Go to www.pw.org/funding for details.

The Ethnic Heritage Art Gallery showcases emerging and established artists of color from ethnic and cultural communities. For details and deadlines, e-mail: EthnicArtGallery@Seattle.gov.

There is a deadline of March 1, 2012 for US artists interested in applying for the US/Japan Creative artist’ Program. Multi-disciplinary artists will work in Japan at a project or study of their choice. A grant award will cover housing, living and professional expenses and travel costs will be covered as well. Go to www.jusfc.gov for full details.

Though Seattle Art Museum has temporarily suspended all their art councils, due to financial problems, some members of   the Asian Art Council stay in touch as a non-profit known as Friends of Asian Art Association. In their Dec. 2011 newsletter is an interview with Pakistani sculptor Humaira Abio who recently exhibited at ArtXchange Gallery. She lives in Seattle but also works out of a studio in Lahore, Pakistan. For details, go to FriendsofAsianArt@earthlink.net.

Award-winning Thai filmmaker Apichatpong Weerasethakul (Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives”) does more than movies. He is also an installation artist with a background in architecture as well. Now, several new publications focus on his work. “For Tomorrow Tonight” Edited by Maeve Butler & Einear O’Raw  (Irish Museum of Modern Art) looks at his body of work in film. “Primitive” looks at a multi-media project that comes out in several genres. The director focused on a village of farmers accused of being communists by the Thai army. Attacked by the army, the inhabitants flee into the jungle. The director worked with the young men of this village to document their struggle. A multi-film installation at a gallery, an on-line installation at Animate Projects and a limited edition artist’s book by CUJO.

Local artist Paul Komada is one of five new members who will join the Soil Art Collective. Their work will eventually appear in the SOIL Gallery at 112 – 3^rd Ave. S.  Go to www.soilart.org for details.

February is Dating Violence Awareness month.  It is clear that dating violence continues to impact the lives of many young people in our community, however society often sends confusing and unclear messages about what dating violence is, making it difficult for communities to offer support to young people who are survivors.

What is dating violence?

Dating violence is defined as the use of physical, emotional and/or sexual violence to gain power, and maintain control in a casual or serious dating relationship.

Studies on dating violence are still up and coming, so we often see a domestic violence framework being used with younger people who are experiencing dating violence.  Generally, we see an understanding of domestic violence limited to physical assault (punching, hair pulling, assault, rape).  This is largely due to the ways the media sensationalizes domestic violence as strictly physical violence.  For example, most of the movies on the popular television network Lifetime, portrays domestic violence with extreme physical violence.  Additionally, when survivors of domestic violence are featured on the news or talk shows, they often choose stories where a survivor has survived attempted murder and was subjected to extreme physical violence.  Murder and physical assault are very serious and real problems in the fight of violence against women and should be taken seriously, however it is usually the only type of violence that is recognized as domestic violence in the media and society.

Emotional abuse actually occurs frequently among young people and can have a very damaging effect on the well being of the survivor.  Emotional abuse can include: name-calling, public humiliation, frequent put-downs, repeated interrogations, your partner treating you as if you are stupid or crazy, and your partner accusing you of flirting or having sex with others.

Abuse in a dating violence relationship is hardly ever constant, but occurs in a cycle.  In the beginning stages of a relationship, everything can seem perfect.  This is often known as the honeymoon stage and can last a couple months or even a couple years.  Then tension begins to build.  The abuser may make you feel like you are always walking on egg shells constantly trying to control you or blame you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship.  The next stage is the abuse where the explosion of the first stage occurs.  The abuser becomes physically and/or emotionally abusive.  The third stage is the make up stage, where the abuser apologizes and promises to never hurt you again, they may buy you gifts or flowers.  Things at this point may feel as they did in the beginning of the relationship, but then the tension building will begin again, restarting the cycle of abuse.

It is often because of this cycle, that it is difficult for the survivor to leave an abusive relationship.  When you love someone, it can be easy to believe that the person you love will change for the better.

Here are some tips on how to help a friend who is being abused in a dating relationship.

• Let them know that it is not their fault & they don’t deserve it.
• Give them resources where they can go for help & offer to go with them (resource list is at the end of the article)
•    Believe them and support their decisions
• Ensure Confidentiality
• Create a safety plan

If you’d like to help address dating violence in your community, please give Chaya/Asian Pacific Islander Safety Center a call.  (206) 467-9976.  We are always looking for volunteers! Here are some resources if you or someone you know is experiencing dating violence: Chaya/Asian & Pacific Islander Safety Center: (206) 467-9976. The Northwest Network of Bisexual, Trans, and Lesbian Survivors of Abuse: (206) 568-7777. Youth Eastside Services: (425) 747-4937. National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline 866-331-9474.

The Seattle Times and Associated Press covered the amazing survival story of Yong Chun Kim, 66, of Tacoma, a snowshoer who was lost in a blizzard for two days on Mount Rainier. Kim said he stayed alive by digging out a snow tunnel and burning dollar bills for warmth.

Kim, who served in the South Korean military in the Vietnam War, told KOMO-TV in Seattle that skills he learned as a soldier helped him survive. He said he wasn’t scared. He kept waiting for the sounds of the helicopter — though severe weather conditions prevented park officials from using one to search for Kim. With temperatures in the teens and winds whipping on the mountain, Kim said he kept walking and moving to stay warm. He took cover in several tree wells — depressions in snow that forms around a tree — and slept standing for 5 to 10 minutes at a time.

Kim, a U.S. citizen for 30 years, was leading 16 members of a hiking and climbing club from Tacoma on Jan. 14 — a trip he takes nearly every week — when he slid down a slope and became separated. He radioed his group twice to tell them he was OK and would meet them farther down the trail, but became disoriented and went the wrong way. Dozens of park rangers, rescue dogs, volunteers and searchers from several rescue organizations scoured snowy mountain terrain for three days searching for Kim. Kim was about a mile from where he was last seen when he was found Jan. 16 by a ranger and two Crystal Mount Ski Patrol members. Kim said his experience won’t stop him from heading to Mount Rainier again.

“Oh yeah, of course, every Saturday.” But he added: “If it’s a bad day, don’t hike again.”

Sen. Paull Shin ‘Undecided’ In Same-Sex Marriage Bill

Sen. Paull Shin (D-21) of Edmonds is listed as one of six “undecided” members of Congress regarding Washington State’s same-sex legislation. If the legislation passes, Washington will be the seventh state to legalize same-sex marriages in the country. As of Jan. 24, there were 23 reliable “yes” votes in the Senate and 20 “no’s.” The bill requires 25 votes to pass. Six senators, including Sen. Paull Shin, will have to make a decision. An intern for Sen. Shin told The Stranger the senator has not made any public statement on whether he is for or against it, saying, “He’s weighing in with the constituents.” Shin’s Mormom faith is rumored to play a role in his indecison.

Former K-Pop Star and Seattle Native is Back in the Spotlight

In their January 2012 issue, KoreAm magazine covered the case of Seattle native Jay Park, who managed to climb to the top of the Korean pop scene as the charismatic leader of 2PM. KoreAm: “But when the young performer made some ‘anti-Korean’ comments on his MySpace page and later allegedly confessed to some ‘severe mistake,’ according to his record label, he found himself excised from the band and Korea. The singer was prepared to return to a life of obscurity, dancing with his old crew and taking a job at a tire shop in his hometown, but then a certain YouTube video launched him back into the spotlight — his loyal fans in tow. Now, Jay is back, making music and movies and this time, he’s calling the shots.”

David Kang to Head Up Rolling Stone, Us Weekly Online

David Kang will be leaving his post at Hearst to take charge of online publishing for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly and Men’s Journal, reported Goldsea news. As Wenner Media’s chief digital officer, Kang will have full P&L responsibility for sites that command 13.2 million unique monthly visitors. Kang said he will “focus on a brand-centric model based on user preferences, data and a seamless multiplatform experience with multiple revenue streams.” That will involve building strategic partnerships with companies like Spotify and deepening relationships with advertisers through multiplatform integrated deals and branded entertainment campaigns. He started work at Wenner on Jan. 20, less than 10 months after he joined Hearst in March of 2011 where he had been developing digital apps, mobile sites, branded YouTube channels and e-books for titles like Good Housekeeping and Cosmopolitan. Since August of 2007 Kang was SVP and general manager of online subscription services at Rodale which publishes health magazines like Men’s Health, Prevention, Women’s Health, Runner’s World, Bicycling, Running Times, and Organic Gardening. Before that, Kang was SVP of entertainment for Major League Baseball Advanced Media. David Kang has a bewildering array of academic degrees, including a B.A from Stanford, an MA from Harvard, a PhD from Harvard Business School and a JD from Harvard Law School.

Yahoo! Co-Founder Yang Resigns

Yahoo! Inc co-founder Jerry Yang has quit the Internet company he started in 1995, effective Jan. 17, potentially appeasing shareholders who had blasted the Internet pioneer for impeding efforts to revive the struggling Web company. Yang’s abrupt departure comes two weeks after Yahoo! appointed Scott Thompson its new CEO, and after growing criticism of Yang and his handling of affairs dating back to an aborted sale to Microsoft. Analysts said Yang’s exit might speed discussions surrounding a multi-billion dollar deal to sell much of Yahoo!’s prize assets — its 40 percent slice of China’s Alibaba, as well as its investment in Yahoo! Japan. In a letter to Yahoo’s chairman of the board, Yang said he was leaving Yahoo to pursue “other interests outside of Yahoo” and was “enthusiastic” about Thompson as the choice to helm the company. Respected in the industry as one of the founding figures of the Web, Yang has come under fire from investors over the years. In 2008 when Yang was CEO, Yahoo! rejected an unsolicited takeover bid from Microsoft Corp worth about $44 billion. Its share price was subsequently pummeled by the global financial crisis and its current market value stands at about $20 billion.

Pinkberry Co-Founder Beat Homeless Man With Tire Iron

One of the founders of the frozen yogurt franchise, Pinkberry, was arrested Jan. 16, according to the Los Angeles Tribune. Police accuse Young Lee of chasing down a homeless man and beating him with a tire iron in June 2011 on an off-ramp of the Hollywood Freeway. Apparently, Young Lee was stopped at a light when he was approached by a transient seeking money, police said. Words were exchanged, and Lee and another man in the car chased the homeless man and “beat him down,” police Capt. Paul Vernon said. Detectives spent several months probing the case against Lee, who was in South Korea for part of that time. Lee, 47, was taken into custody at Los Angeles International Airport. Bail was set at $60,000 but the records do not indicate whether Lee was released. A former kick-boxer and later an architect, Lee co-founded Pinkberry with Shelly Hwang in 2005. At one point, Pinkberry was drawing 3,000 customers a day and became known as the yogurt shop that spawned 1,000 parking tickets. The business now has more than 100 locations in the United States, Mexico and the Middle East, according to the company website.

Seven Teens Charged in Vicious Beating Caught on Video

In Chicago, seven teens have been charged in the Jan. 15 brutal alley attack of a 17-year-old high school student that was caught on video and went viral on YouTube. Soon after the video hit the web, the identities of the alleged attackers were released. The father of one of teens charged in the beating said the attack was a ‘retaliation’ from a previous altercation.  Seventeen-year-old Raymond Palomino, the attacker whose face can be clearly seen in the video, is being charged as an adult, and faces felony charges of robbery and aggravated battery. The rest of the attackers, ages 15 to 16, including the 15-year-old girl who apparently made the recording, have all been cited on the same charges. The beating and robbery occurred at about 4 p.m. in an alley behind an elementary school just south of the city’s downtown. Police said they don’t believe the attack was racially motivated, although the video clearly shows the victim being punched in the face and kicked repeatedly by a group of attackers while being taunted with racial slurs over the course of more than three minutes. His attackers also robbed the victim of $180 in cash, in addition to his sneakers. The beating victim ran away and was taken to Mercy Hospital and Medical Center.

Reuniting the Koreas in a Restaurant

The New York Times covered Pyongyang — not the capital city of North Korea, — but the rapidly expanding chain of restaurants owned by the North Korean government, with outlets in Bangkok, Jakarta, Pattaya, Phnom Penh, Siem Reap and Vientiane.

Apparently, the Pyongyang restaurant serves as a place of cross-border kinship between Northerners and Southerners, who enjoy performances by North Korean dancers. According to the Times, an expert calls the restaurants, which have opened over the past decade, a “North Korean capitalist experiment,” where wine goes for $30 a bottle and meals can run $100 a person. A critic said the restaurant franchise is an attempt by the government to generate hard currency, a supplement to the country’s sales of missiles and nuclear technology. There is no doubt it is desperately needed, to cope with food and fuel shortages and a socialist economy in a state of collapse. In the real Pyongyang — the capital city -– the death of the longtime leader, Kim Jong-il, and the succession of his son, Kim Jong-un, have raised fears of instability, creating a hard-line Communist atmosphere.

In the restaurant, the performers, who double as waitresses, said they work for three-year stints, request photographs of the restaurant deleted from cameras and shy from discussing politics. There are no propaganda posters in the franchises, no slogans and no portraits of Kim Jung-un, his father or his grandfather, Kim Il-sung. Mr. Jung, a South Korean tour guide, told the New York Times the restaurant was a kind of neutral ground for North and South Koreans to meet. “Politics disappear,” Mr. Jung said. “We are one family.”

Hong Kong Braces for Flood of Dragon Babies

Mainland women scheming and scrambling to deliver “dragon babies” are expected to create a logjam in Hong Kong hospitals and clinics, reported the Goldsea news website. About half of all babies delivered in Hong Kong this year will be to mainlanders eager to bring good fortune into their families while avoiding China’s one-child policy. The Year of the Dragon began on Jan. 23. According to Chinese superstitions babies born during a dragon year — which comes around every 12 years according to the Chinese zodiac — will be imbued with the talents and the good fortune of a great emperor. Consequently, many couples have deliberately sought to time births by putting off conception in the preceding year of the rabbit. Due to concerns that the quest for dragon babies by hordes of mainland woman would crowd out local women, Hong Kong placed a cap on the number of non-resident women who will be allowed to give birth in the Special Administrative Region. Hong Kong hospitals are essentially at the mercy of determined mainland women who manage to cross the border, legally and illegally, and make their way to a facility in a condition that requires preparation for delivery. Local papers have already reported cases of mainland women in the final stages of pregnancy who have illegally crossed the border and headed straight to emergency rooms of public hospitals who can’t turn them away. Expectant local mothers have taken to streets to protest the expected crowding. Up to 1,000 have already staged protests.

One of the most prolific is the 68-minute documentary “Kash: The Legend and Legacy of Shiro Kashino.” In it, filmmaker Vincent Matsudaira profiles men who served in the 100th Battalion 442nd Regimental Combat Team during World War II. Focusing on Shiro “Kash” Kashino, Matsudaira presents a straightforward tale of conflict that transcended the battlefield.

The all-Nisei division with its slogan, “Go for Broke!” was the most decorated of WWII. Yet, soldiers of that unit found themselves in a peculiar situation. While their families were herded into concentration camps, and in spite of being American-born citizens, they were treated like foreign enemies. With Japan attacking U.S. interests, many felt their only option was proving their loyalty by joining America in fighting overseas. The irony of having loved ones trapped behind barbed wire, while battling on behalf of those who held their families as hostages, was not lost on those Nisei.

Born in Seattle in 1922, Kashino lost both of his parents at an early age and was raised by older siblings. Like other Japanese Americans on the West Coast, he was interned along with his family. After volunteering for the 442nd, he distinguished himself in combat. Yet, in spite of earning six Purple Hearts, two Bronze Stars and a Silver Star, Kashino — once a platoon sergeant — came home a private. Wrongly implicated in a bar room brawl, he faced a court martial, was twice thrown into a stockade, had his medals taken, and his rank stripped. It wasn’t until 40 years later, encouraged by his wife Louise, family and friends, that he sought exoneration — all the time enduring setbacks while suffering from cancer.

Until he became ill, Kashino was reluctant to revisit what had occurred during the war. But his wife convinced him that younger generations like their three daughters needed to know the truth. In fact, one daughter recalls being unsure during her childhood whether her father fought on the Japanese or American side in WWII.

Skillfully threading archival stills and footage throughout interviews, Matsudaira guides the viewer towards an emotionally charged experience. The last interview Kashino participated in is deeply moving. In one chilling scene, he remembers that upon seeing a German POW camp in Italy, he thought it looked like Camp Minidoka where his family was imprisoned.

On January 14, Congressional Gold Medals were presented to Seattle Regional Veterans of the 442nd and the Military Intelligence Service. Sadly, “Kash” was not there to receive his overdue justice.

For more information, or to buy a DVD, visit: www.kashthemovie.com. Purchases can also be made to benefit Nisei Veteran’s Committee: www.seattlenvc.org.

Another film about another war, “David and Kamal” is a Japanese production directed by Kikuo Kawasaki. Although it takes place during a time of uneasy peace between Palestinians and Jews, it portrays the potential for battle at any moment.

Just nine-years old, Kamal works the streets of Jerusalem hustling tourists and charming them into buying his postcards, only “three for a dollar.” Harassed by teenage bullies, he’s admonished by his stern grandfather for not making enough money and for losing the precious postcards to the bullies. Dreaming of becoming rich someday, Kamal spots his opportunity in a Jewish American boy visiting his father.

David, who lives in the U.S. with his divorced mother, is wary of vacationing with his workaholic father, Joseph, who charges his son to his girlfriend, Raisa. Weak with asthma, David clings to his coin collection, disappointed by his indifferent dad. While shopping with Raisa, David is robbed of his rare coins by Kamal.

Furious, he gives chase and the boys race through streets filled with dark passageways and sudden dead-ends. But soon, they find themselves fighting together against common enemies; settling their differences in ways that adults wouldn’t.

In English, Hebrew and Arabic, the DVD is available at: www.elevenarts.net.

Yet another war film hit theaters on January 20. Chinese director Zhang Yimou’s long-awaited “The Flowers of War,” depicting the massacre of Nanking, was scheduled for a press screening, but cancelled due to snow. Check local listings for show times.

The latest reminder of this fact involves a review in the New York Times on December 9, 2011, by critic Edward Rothstein about the new museum at Powell, Wyoming, called the Heart Mountain Interpretive Learning Center. Rothstein, in looking for reasons why this mass incarceration took place, implies that it was in part, a response to a problem of prewar affinities between Japan and these immigrants who lived on the West Coast, that these affinities were so strong that Japanese Americans were a security threat. It was badly researched and another rationalization of why this had taken place. It is saddening that after all these years, we Japanese Americans are still the suspicious parties.

One remedy for these distorted and false views of that history is to get to more honest and truthful depictions of the camps, and this year, we have the DVD version of Frank Abe’s strong and authoritative film, “Conscience and the Constitution.” First released in 2000, this documentary which focused on the story of the Heart Mountain Resisters who challenged the government’s drafting of Japanese American young men into the army, gave us a good overview of the situation, and was widely praised as an important film about the incarceration itself and the divisions within the Japanese American community at the time. Narrated by poet Lawson Inada and filmed by Phil Sturholm, this award-winning documentary gave us a deep look at the mass incarceration and has been widely shown throughout the country and garnered high praise for bringing to the forefront episodes which have been ignored and marginalized in the dominant narrative of the concentration camps.

Now, “Conscience and the Constitution” has been released as a two-disc collector’s edition with two extra hours of bonus features. As Abe notes, he has added some fascinating asides, previously unseen photos, expanded interviews like one with Ben Kuroki, a war hero who expresses his regret at the vehemence with which he denounced the resisters. In including an original featurette, “The JACL Apologizes,” the story is brought up to date. In 2002, there was a ceremony held in San Francisco by the JACL to formally extend an apology to the resisters for its role in harassing them during the war and afterward. This was a major public acknowledgement of one of the great divisions within our community as it struggles to come to an understanding of the past.

For those of us who have been deeply interested in understanding our history, the extras on this DVD expand and illuminate pieces that we didn’t know. For instance, it is riveting to see Mike Masaoka’s rebuttal to critics in a 9:06 minute-long clip at one of the JACL’s conventions. Another Masaoka audio interview by Frank Abe (at 19:07 minutes) amplifies this man’s complicated, troubled role as the JACL leader during the war. He played a major role as a spokesperson for the community and also for quite a lengthy period after the war. These are invaluable pieces to fit into the puzzle of the incarceration and how it turned out.

As Abe put it, “The film shows the price one pays for taking a principled stand. It’s also about two responses to injustice: collaboration or resistance.” As such it should be seen by every Asian American and also in all American classrooms.

Frank Abe’s new DVD of “Conscience and the Constitution” can be ordered direct by visiting: www.resisters.com or by calling (800) 343-5540. It is also for sale at Kinokuniya Bookstore at 525 S. Weller, Seattle.

I visited the store as a young boy and continued going there as an adult. Now the exhibit, “Meet Me at Higo: An Enduring Story of a Japanese American Family,” brings back memories.

Seeing “Meet Me at Higo” takes me back through my childhood and days as a young community activist again. In this case, history seems to repeat itself.

Near life-size cut-outs of the Murakami sisters greeted me as I walked up to the cash register and display case in the exhibit.

To me, the Higo Variety Store was more than just a business to purchase the little things to make our lives more convenient. The Higo Variety Store was part of a thriving community called Japantown or Nihonmachi.

The Higo Variety Store was one of the numerous businesses in the vibrant history of Nihonmachi, during a period when the area around Jackson and Main Streets were alive with restaurants, barbershops, laundries, tailor shops, jewelry and flower stores.

After Japan attacked Pearl Harbor, President Franklin D. Roosevelt passed Executive Order 9066 on February 19, 1942, ordering the evacuation of 110,000 Japanese Americans.

On April 30, 1942, the Japanese American community was uprooted, rounded up and sent to internment camps.

The Murakami family, parents Sanzo and Matsuyo, daughters Ayako and Masa, and son Kazuichi were sent to the Minidoka Internment camp where they lived behind barbed wire for three years.

Daughter Chiyoko died in 1937 at the age of 22. According to the exhibit text, she kept a diary in 1936 that chronicled the last year of her life.

That same year, Sanzo built the Jackson Building, then moved Higo’s from its previous location where the Sun Ya Restaurant is now.

Some tenants, Julius Blumenthal and Maurice Zimmer who ran Jackson Loan, took care of the building and boarded up the store.

Since the Murakami’s owned a home and business, they were among the first to be released from Minidoka in January 1945.

In the early 1960s, I knew nothing about the internment of Japanese Americans. During this period, Asian American history was left out of the school text books.

I must have been seven or eight years old when I began playing with some Japanese American friends on King Street, across from the post office. My friends and I would break wooden boxes apart and sharpen them into swords by rubbing them on the pavement.

When I had a few cents to spend, I’d cross busy Jackson Street to the Higo Variety Store and spend time looking at their selection of toys.

Masa and Ayako were always there to greet me, along with their small dog. Masa was more outgoing. Ayako was more reserved as I recall.

Masa had a welcoming but inquisitive gaze. She put up with me, the young snot-nosed kid who visited their toy section each week.

She would stare at me through her glasses and ask “Aren’t you the laundry woman’s boy?” After several visits she figured out my mother ran the Re-New Cleaners on Maynard Avenue.

I’d stand there, looking over the selection of toy guns and party poppers. Those are the fireworks where you pull the string, it goes bang then confetti comes flying out.

I’d stare at the colorful kites hanging from the ceiling and beautiful Japanese fabrics.

I could afford the balsa wood airplanes at a dime each. I’d put the propeller on, twist it around as the rubber band tightened and let it fly at the Chong Wa playfield. When the planes broke, I’d blow them to pieces with firecrackers.

For years, the window displays remained unchanged. The cardboard boxes of various products would fade from the sunlight.

As I got older, I helped Donnie Chin start the International District Emergency Center (IDEC) in the late 1960s to early 1970s. By this time I was in high school and there was a rising sense of community activism. Young people were strategizing about ways to start social service programs to help out our seniors.

I grew my hair long, past the shoulders as a form of rebellion and personal expression.

Donnie and I went on patrol wearing bright red or yellow jumpsuits to keep the peace and watch over the elderly.

Sometimes we’d carry batons. Later we started swinging nunchucks.

Our route always took us to Jackson Street, past Crockett’s electronics repair shop, a Filipino gambling joint, a tailor, a pet store and then to Higo’s Variety Store.

“We always stopped by Higo’s on patrol. She (Masa) always asked us how we were doing and thanked us for stopping by,” said Chin.

At Higo’s, IDEC bought nails, tacks, rope and tools. Donnie and I used the things we bought to remodel his grandfather’s Canton Alley storefront into the emergency center.

When I began volunteering for the International Examiner and carrying a camera around Chinatown, Masa would see me as she swept the sidewalk in front of Higo’s.

“My how you’ve grown up. I’ve known you since you were a little boy,” Masa reminded me repeatedly.

Years later I returned once again to the store as a photographer, doing a portrait of the Murakami sisters that would be featured in the International Examiner and now in this exhibit.

When John Hom, The Wing’s operations manager arrived in Seattle from Montana in the early 1980s he looked for a store to shop at.

“I knew it as a place to look for a rice cooker. I went to check it out. I asked around Chinatown and people referred me to Higo. It was like the five cent stores in Montana. I remember the sisters, they were nice people,” Hom said.

Ayako died in 1999. The store closed in 2003 when Masa was no longer able to care for the store.

I went to the closing sale and bought a back scratcher and shoelaces. Masa later passed away in 2010.

The spirit of Higo lives on in the form of Kobo at Higo. Owners Binko Chiong Bisbee and John Bisbee have maintained some of Higo’s atmosphere and merchandise.

The last time I saw Masa, she was at the Keiro Nursing Home and did not remember me.

But I remembered her. How could I ever forget?

Today’s Kobo at Higo store is located at 602 to 608 S. Jackson Street, in the International District. Visit www.koboseattle.com.

“Meet Me at Higo: An Enduring Story of a Japanese American Family” is on view at the Wing until May 27. It is accompanied by a catalog with an essay written by Ken Mochizuki. Wing Luke Museum, 719 South King St., Seattle. Call (206) 623-5124 or go to www.wingluke.org.

Or you may be the eldest daughter in a traditional family that has placed familial burdens on you. Whatever the case may be, the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center has issued a report outlining marriage age for Asian American women, and it found that it is generally much later than the national average.

According to the report: “In traditional Asian homes, the oldest daughter often faces additional responsibilities and social roles, such as helping raise younger siblings, getting an education and a job to help support the family, and taking care of her elderly parents.”

Asian Americans are reported as having the second highest rate among racial groups of never marrying. The report said that there does not seem to be a clear connection between higher education and not marrying.

This is surprising news for many, including commentator Reflective SAM, of the popular blog, singleasianmale.com.

“[Asian parents] are afraid you’re going to hit your expiration date, and that nobody will love you like a box of curdled milk,” he writes.  “They start trying to set you up with their friend’s friend’s daughters, like the girl that works at the teriyaki shop who looks like Margaret Cho.”

Bahira Sherif Trask and Julie Koivunen did a study on trends in marriage and cohabitation at the University of Delaware. They determined that Asian Americans have the lowest rate of cohabitation, at about 5 percent. In comparison, Caucasian Americans are at about 8.2 percent, a difference they claim is a result of cultural differences.

According to the Pew Research Center, a record 14.6 percent of all new marriages are interracial or interethnic. Among all newlyweds in 2008, 31 percent of Asians married someone whose race or ethnicity differed from their own — the most for any minority group. What’s interesting is this rate has not increased like it has for many other racial groups; rather, it has stayed almost the same since 1980, even experiencing a slight dip.

But not every Asian American is equally disposed to be in an interracial/interethnic marriage. The Asian Nation site reported that Japanese and Korean Americans are far more likely to marry across ethnic lines while Asian Indians were least likely. Filipino, Japanese, and Korean Americans are most likely to marry other races.

“It’s not quite like it was before, when there were only two Asian kids in your school — you and this other boy/girl — and everyone thought you two should go together to the prom. Forced coupling,” said blogger Angry Asian Man.

Ohio State University sociologist Zhenchao Qian did a study studying interracial marriages in 1990 to 2000. He discovered that number marrying outside their race fell from 42 to 33 percent during the decade.

“The immigrant population fundamentally changes the pool of potential partners for Asians and Hispanics. It expands the number and reinforces the culture, which means the second generation . . . is more likely to marry people of their own ethnicity,” said Daniel T. Lichter, a sociologist at Cornell University in a Washington Post article.

Another trend found in the study conducted by the Pew Research Center found that 40 percent of Asian female newlyweds had married outside their race in 2008, as opposed to just 20 percent of Asian males. Bloger, Controversial SAM, believes it may be because Asian men want someone with a similar cultural and linguistic background, especially when it comes time to raising children.

“Sure, we’d like to sleep with anyone while we’re single,” said Controversial SAM, “but for marriage purposes, we want Asian. The mother of our children and the woman that we will come to respect, honor, and love, she’s got to be Asian.”

“Sex just isn’t talked about. It’s shameful. And then there’s all this pressure to have children, and lots of children,” said Katherine, a 39 year-old Chinese American.

This stereotypical policy, “abstinence until it’s time to get married and have lots of children policy” can send a potentially sexually active young adult into a tailspin.

New studies have shown that due to unique stigmas and a lack of communication on sexual health and sexual education in the home, Asian Pacific Islander Americans have lower rates of condom use, lower rates of HIV testing and, in some groups, high teenage pregnancy rates.

While many American adolescents have to suffer through the “sex talk” with their parents, most Asian American families avoid the subject entirely, and API youths have to rely on the public school system, friends, books or movies for their sexual education. Discussing sex is an extremely personal topic, and infused with taboo and assumptions. Many parents fear that even bringing up the topic of sex will actually encourage their children to become sexually active, even though a study by the University of Washington found that students who received comprehensive sex education are half as likely to become teen parents as those who get none or abstinence-only sex education.

According to the National Asian Women’s Healthy Organization, more than half of Asian American women are uncomfortable talking about sexual and reproductive health with their mothers, and even more so with the male figures in the family.

“In my household, sex was hardly ever brought up,” said Justin, a 31-year-old Filipino American. “It was assumed that I came out of the ether, basically and that’s how it was.” But at the same time, living in America and being surrounded by American media, Justin was surrounded by sexual images and stories. His mom’s solution? “Cover your eyes until I say when!”

All of this silence and trusting that other people will do the important job of educating young people about sexual health and the risks involved with sexual activity, has resulted in some surprising figures. The model minority myth has furthered the assumption that most API youths are not sexually active — they’re too busy studying and trying to get into a good college. That’s true to some extent. Compared to the national average, female API high school students are less likely to have had intercourse, and they lose their virginity at a later age, according to a study in the Journal of Adolescent Health. But, API youth were significantly less likely to use condoms at first intercourse than all other ethnic groups, according to a 2006 study by the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health (known as Add Health).

While Asian Americans may have lower rates of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases than other racial and ethnic groups, HIV infection is growing at the fastest rate among Asian Americans — 14.3 percent for women and 8.1 percent for men between 2001 and 2004, according to the Center for Disease Control.

Advocates for Youth, a national nonprofit that helps young people make informed and responsible decisions about their sexual health, cites some cultural assets that APIs have that could set the right course for healthy, knowledgeable API youth, but those assets have to be utilized. A high level of parental involvement in their children’s lives in Asian families is a significant factor in helping youths to make the decision to not jump into sexual relationships too early. In a survey, API youth were more likely than any other youth to believe their parents would disapprove of them having sex. Fewer than 10 percent of young API women in the Add Health study who reported a high level of parental involvement reported having had intercourse.

Avoiding the subject with teens, or dropping vague but stern notions of disapproval that “boys are bad” may be as effective as stopping a moving train. But just stopping the train isn’t enough. Eventually, everyone needs to learn how to ride the train, and safely. That’s where Asian parents leave their comfort zone and leave it up to others to educate their children. Studies show that young API women have a high level of confidence about themselves, enough to refrain from sexual activity. An important step is using that self-confidence to apply it to healthy sexual behaviors, such as contraception and reproductive health care.

Thirty-three year old Anna said that situation exactly describes her sexual health experiences. “I felt comfortable enough with my own decisions that I wasn’t ready for sex in high school. But then when I was ready, I definitely could’ve been responsible with my choices in using contraception and practicing good reproductive health,” she said. “The sex ed classes in high school didn’t make much of an impression on me — not as much as a close personal conversation with someone close to me would have.”

Economic and social barriers can have just as much impact, with parents working multiple jobs, or immigrants and refugees lacking insurance and a comprehensive support network.

Older siblings sometimes step in to fill that role of educator. “In 4th grade, my brother and sister broke into my dad’s porn stash, and they forced me to watch this movie with them so I knew,” says Justin. “I resisted and didn’t want anything to do with it, but my siblings were like, ‘this isn’t that big of a deal, so just get over it.’ They were my guides, because my parents were too busy keeping the family going.”

For more information, go to www.advocatesforyouth.org or www.plannedparenthood.org/ppgnw.

My eldest sister is in my apartment, screaming and yelling at me with a nonsensical fury. There is something about me not going to work. There is something about me going out late at night. Is this woman crazy? I shut down her every attack with calm but assertive responses, revealing the faults in her strange accusations. The exchange is escalating wildly but she is unable to faze me. Finally, in an angry, spiteful resignation, she says, “You’re just a faggot.”

The shit was about to hit the fan. And, seeing this, everyone who intruded into the apartment with her — her husband, my brother — pull her out of my path.

Growing up, I’ve always been the black sheep of my family. I was ripped away from my refugee parents when I began kindergarten, English gaining importance over the Khmer I spoke at home. My mother once threatened to disown me if I pursued the predominantly female art form of Cambodian classical dance. And, in line with the combination of my youthful independence and my family’s inability to guide me through American society, I defied my parents and left to study experimental filmmaking at the San Francisco Art Institute.

And now here I am — crying my eyes out in angry confusion — back with the family that my path has torn me from, back in my sleepy hometown of Long Beach that has been nothing but cycles of poverty, ignorance, and violence.

What the hell was I doing here? And how in the world did so much hatred come from my own family?

I grab my phone. I dial the number to my father’s house and he picks up with his voice of aged calm. It is a calm that comes from having lived for 82 years, from living at the mercy of the land, sun, and water in rural Cambodia. It is a voice that has lived through French colonialism, the atrocities of the Khmer Rouge genocide, and now, displacement and alienation in America. I begin in tears, speaking in Khmer, “Pa, guess what your daughter did? Who the fuck does she think she is?!”

“What’s going on?” he asks.

“Pa, I’m gay! I don’t care if you don’t approve. I don’t need your love if you don’t respect me! I don’t need it!” I am crying uncontrollably and there is no response on the other line.

“Prum … Prum,” my father says after what feels like an eternity of drowning in my emotions. “Calm down. You are my son. And you’ll always be.”

My heart lifted. Surprise began to mix in with the chaotic flowing of emotions. I think I just came out to my 80-something father and he was OK with it. And it wasn’t the last time. Things seemed to happen quickly after that. I was creating a visible place for myself as an artist in California through shows, fellowships, and public talks.

Looking back at the incident, I’m perplexed at how it happened that way. First off, in the context of Cambodian classical dance — the epitome of Cambodian culture — there is a space for those who don’t conform to heteronormative molds of man and woman. During the height of Cambodian dance ritual, a lone Brahmin who is half-male and half-female appears to act as a messenger between heaven and earth. This sacred, divine sanction of queer is echoed in contemporary Cambodia where “men can have wives and boyfriends” and female pop stars enact homosexual romances.

My sister’s attack came off as an erasure of cultural memory, perhaps by the hands of colonialism and the fear-driven puritanism of American society. As a result, my original dance works became increasingly political and I was preparing to present one of them at REDCAT, the premiere venue for experimental performance in Los Angeles.

At this time, a reporter from the LA Times was interviewing me (for a story that never ran). She wanted to speak with my father. We met at the dance studio where I was teaching. After questions about my father’s life, she asks me, “So what does your father think about your being gay?”

“Pa, she wants to know how you feel about me being gay.”

“You’re gay?”

Oh dear. “Yes Pa, I’m gay! Don’t you remember? I was crying on the phone and I was telling you.” The reporter is obviously wondering what is going on right now as both my father and I seem confused. “I’m sorry. He’s old. And he’s forgotten that I told him that I was gay,” I say to her in English.

I ask in Khmer, “Well, Pa?”

“What is there to say? You are my son. I love you no matter what. As long as you are a good person, nothing else matters.”

Author’s note: My father, Sem Ok, passed away two years later on Jan. 20, 2011. It was my 24th birthday. May he be remembered for his love. This article first appeared on NewAmericaMedia.org.

Prumsodun Ok is an artist, teacher, curator, writer, and organizer. His interdisciplinary performance works explore the tradition of Cambodian classical dance to address contemporary LGBT and social issues. He is a 2011 TED Fellow. He lives in Long Beach where he is executive editor of VoiceWaves, a youth-led journalism project of New America Media.